The Great Glitter Conspiracy



A staple of successful children's parties and strip clubs, yet the bane of the ocean's existence is glitter. The masked devil has drawn controversy, and rightfully so, as this manufactured plastic dust never biodegrades. Instead, it finds its way into the sea and into the bellies of fish who surely aren't craving microplastics for dinner. The sparkly particles aren't fun and games when it comes to marine life. If you dig deeper, the world of these shimmering bits of plastic is hiding one big secret. If what we don't know can't hurt us, that doesn't mean it won't eventually. For a company known as Glitterex in New Jersey — one of two of the largest glitter-making companies in the world — glitter proves to be a secretive, suspicious business. But what's so secretive about shiny particles? Well, when you consider how much glitter is used in our everyday items — from credit cards to fishing bait — this is a seemingly harmless way of using the product. So, why is a company like Glitterex withholding the answer to an innocent question and one that's of genuine interest to the public: Who is your biggest buyer? According to a representative of Glitterex by the name of Ms. Dyer — who neither volunteered nor disclosed any information about who the buyer is — the buyer doesn’t want people to know they’re using glitter in their product. Several theories exist as to what that product mightu be, including using it in bombs as a means of tracking where they’ve exploded, or car paint, though most people agree that car makers likely don't care about that being revealed. So again, the mystery certainly lies somewhere more disturbing. There's been talk that toothpaste contains glitter, and visually that wouldn't be too much of a surprise. Rocket fuel is also on the table, as are sand and U.S. currency. No matter what the glittery industry may be hiding from us, let’s hope whatever it is won't generate a warning down to road that it's been killing us all along.