When Miranda was 24 and newly relocated back to her hometown, she was searching for a sense of community. She expected to find a connection, perhaps with her downstairs neighbors, a grad student couple with an army of cats. She even thought she might make a connection with someone in the community theater. While those connections worked for her on some level, neither holds a candle to the kinship she found with her 56-year-old cast-mate Ken. Miranda and Ken aren’t unusual; in fact, intergenerational friendships are becoming quite a thing. Research has shown that for young adults these friendships have been associated with greater confidence, higher self-esteem, and a stronger sense of long-term perspective. They help foster an understanding of the grand scheme of things beyond the present moment. For older adults, they can offer a greater sense of purpose and meaning, reduced loneliness, and diminished ageist attitudes. For younger people, friendships with older adults can be equally valuable, especially because older people have accumulated life experiences that the younger person hasn’t. They also reduce the stress of younger people who feel intimidated by aging. You can form intergenerational friendships the same way you form any lasting friendship: by connecting over shared interests and showing up consistently. The most successful intergenerational friendships are marked by shared commitment, flexibility and willingness to listen. Intergenerational friendships are not without challenges. There’s the risk of falling into an unintended parent-child dynamic, but that can be alleviated by being wary of giving advice or seeking it. "Being Ken’s friend showed me that friendship doesn’t require sameness or parallel life paths — just curiosity, care and a willingness to stay present for someone who’s walking a different road,” said Miranda. In the end, the key to intergenerational friendships is balance.
