A fed-up UK farmer has pledged to breed uglier cows to curb the relentless tide of tourists lining up to snap selfies and generally harass his handsome Highland Cattle. “The intention is to make them less photogenic,” said Alex Birch of Derbyshire. The 39-year-old cattle farmer said he has observed a concerning uptick in gawkers flocking to his farm to film viral videos of his animals. “My cows don’t get any peace,” said Birch, who has witnessed people hugging his tufty charges, taking selfies, and even pulling their tails in a bid to create viral content. To stop the intrusive photo-ops, the cattleman has decided to remove his cows’ good looks by crossing them with the Whitebred Shorthorn, which he described as a “good, hardy cow that’s not photogenic and doesn’t have horns." Birch says if he had his way, he would ban people. He argues that throngs of cattle paparazzi are more than just a nuisance, they’re a liability. One selfie-taker claimed that one of Birch’s cattle tried to attack his dog in an attempt to defend its calves. While Birch was allowed to keep his cattle on his 300-acre land, he worries that he could be subject to legal action if a tourist is injured. “They are like donkeys, they can kick hard. If you upset one you will regret it – you will never outrun it,” said Birch. In fact, the Peak District National Park Authority warned against hugging or otherwise interacting with the animals due to the risk of being “trampled, charged, or attacked,” especially when cows have young. Since Birch has no legal grounds to ban people, he's taking the only step he can to restore peace to his farm.
