If just hearing your old boss’s name triggers you, or you lie in bed each night agonizing over a friend who stole your boyfriend back in high school, you’re well aware of how hard it is to shake a grudge. Holding onto a grievance can even feel good, in a perverse sort of way. However, a new study has found that you’re not doing yourself any favors hanging on to old hurts. In fact, being the forgiving kind may be good for both your body and mind. Practicing forgiveness can lead to greater well-being over time, as it reduces the negative effects of stress hormones. Brain imaging studies show that letting go of an offense activates pathways and parts of the brain that improve resilience and social bonds. In other words, by forgiving, you’re building a buffer against life’s hardships. When it comes to relationships, forgiveness is one of those hidden qualities that's like WD-40 for improving interaction with friends and family. To move forward from hurt, you have to flip the script from victim to hero, which frees you from the prison of unforgiveness. That doesn’t mean you have to continue a relationship with someone who has hurt you, but you do have to forgive if you want to move forward.
