There’s a new dating trend, but experts say don’t be fooled by the name. Though “Shrekking” derives its name from the wholesome animated film Shrek, in the dating world it’s anything but charming. Shrekking involves dating someone you’re not attracted to in hopes they will treat you better in return. After all, Princess Fiona took a chance on Shrek and that turned out alright. Unfortunately, when you get Shrekked, it means that the person you lowered your standards for still ended up hurting you. As dating coach Amy Chan puts it, “In this plotline, you’re dating an ogre without the princess treatment.” The term might be new, but the behavior isn’t. When it comes to "Shrekking," the term shines a light on a major problem. It implies that daters should be able to predict how a potential partner will treat them based on what that person looks like. In reality, appearances don't reveal someone's character. Anyone who treats you poorly, no matter what they look like, should be seen as unattractive in your eyes. If you’re someone who has been Shrekked, the goal isn't to retreat back to only dating conventionally attractive people; it's to develop better assessment skills for character, values and emotional availability regardless of what package they come in. Figure out your non-negotiables and stick to it.
