It turns out that saying “please” isn’t as common as you think. As children, we’re taught that the polite thing to do is say “please” and “thank you.” New research suggests that people today use the word “please” when making a request a dismal 7% of the time. These findings are about the same across all ages, gender and social status. So what’s the deal with the “magic word?” Research has found that requests phrased with “please” are no more likely to work than other polite requests, and sometimes they even backfire. Nowadays, it seems the word “please” is being used in pushy situations. Before you clutch your pearls and wonder about the state of society these days, just because people aren’t saying “please” doesn’t mean they’re not polite. There are plenty of other phrases that show you’re being polite. Using the phrase “would you mind?” is another way of being polite without using the actual word “please.” The most important part of having good etiquette is treating the other person with kindness and respect, both in word and deed.
