Of the 53 million caregivers in the U.S., more than 60% are women. While that means you’re a part of a legion of compassionate warriors doing invaluable work on behalf of your loved ones, it can also feel isolating. At times, it can feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. It’s not surprising that caregiver burnout is reaching all-time highs. The good news is there are strategies that will help you take care of yourself as well as you provide care to those you love.
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| Outsmart caregiver burnout with information. Caregiver burnout quite often stems from not knowing what to expect from your loved one’s illness or disability. For example, they may realize their loved one is experiencing cognitive changes, but don’t fully understand how to support their health or provide resources. That’s because so many behavioral shifts are ambiguous or gradual, especially in the case of dementia. It’s natural to blame their personality rather than the situation, which can leave you feeling hurt and angry. Just learning that their cognition is expected to vary from day to day can relieve your anxiety. To gather information. you need to feel more in-control, start with the Family Caregiver Alliance and the Caregiver Action Network. |
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| Discover your anchor. Knowing why you’re cargiving will boost your energy and prevent burnout. The “why” is your anchor point. It might be anything from knowing you’re doing God’s work to taking comfort in living up to your highest ideals. Depending on your situation, the meaning you take from caregiving may also be less lofty and more practical. Many caregivers are looking after family members with whom they’ve had a strained relationship. Reminding yourself of the reason you’ve decided to take this on, despite having mixed feelings. It’s not a bad thing if your “why” is a sense of family obligation — that’s honorable. |
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| Be kind to you. Because their responsibilities can feel all-consuming, many caregivers begin to feel disconnected from their identity. One of the most important self-care remedies is to find ways to make you feel like you again. For example, if you’re an avid gardener, yet no longer have time to tend to your flower beds, you might put up a small window box instead. It can be as simple as pouring yourself a cup of hot tea, taking a few deep breaths or carving out just one minute to feel the sunshine on your face. You decide what works for you. |
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| Give yourself permission to grieve. Oftentimes, anger we feel toward the person we’re taking care of masks a deeper grief experienced in caregiver burnout. Give yourself space to express your emotions, whether that's anger, resentment, sadness, fear, or a combination of them. The simple act of labeling what YOU'RE going through is healing. |
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| Accept a helping hand to reduce burnout. Never turn away help, whether it’s from family members or friends. Be as specific as possible: “I could really use your help with meal prep; If you could help me out with a load of laundry, it would really make a difference.” Even if you don’t need immediate help, thank the person offering and tell them you’ll reach out when you need help. There’s no statute of limitations on a helping hand. |
