The Top Grievances From Festivus 2020

In 1997, Seinfeld aired an episode — titled “The Strike" — in which George Costanza’s father, Frank (played by Jerry Stiller), decided he was staging a one-man war on Christmas. In lieu of celebrating a commercialized holiday, Frank was going to start his own Christmas: Festivus …….explicitly, “Festivus for the rest of us.” To mark the occasion, an aluminum pole was set up in the living room, and celebrants aired their grievances with each other and engaged in feats of strength, like wrestling. After the episode aired, Festivus began being celebrated from coast to coast and, in particular, on the internet. Needless to say, the airing of grievances for Festivus 2020 was even more cathartic than ever. Here are some of the best: 


“Having to deal with my husband, who thinks ‘quarantine’ means to sit on his butt and do absolutely nothing. I guess he’s been quarantined for 10 years now!” — Karen 


“People who come to a theme park on a Saturday and complain about it being too busy. What made you think it would be slow on a weekend?” — Christina 


“Why can’t dog owners walk their dog on their own lawn? If you think it’s sanitary once you pick up your dog’s poop from my lawn, please allow me to come over and poop on your kitchen floor. When you pick it up, is your floor still sanitary?” — John 


 "Shows on TV Land are 17 minutes of commercials and 13 minutes of show. It should be called Commercial Land.” — Eric 


“Stop pulling your mask down to talk to me! I can hear!” — Hayley 


“Stop beginning sentences with the word ’SO’ when you’re answering a question!” — Dan