Obituaries have long employed a secret code, a shorthand to mask causes of death survivors might find embarrassing. It’s not openly discussed, but it’s easy to find. When HIV/AIDS began claiming lives in the 1980s, young men were said to have simply succumbed to “pneumonia.” Today, the codes — “died at home,” “died suddenly,” or simply “passed away” — come out when there’s a drug overdose or a suicide. There’s also a code for gay men that says they were “unmarried” or “a confirmed bachelor.” For many years, families used these phrases to manage privacy during painful times, avoiding the stigma attached to certain causes of death. However, some families are moving away from this, intentionally detailing the cause of death to raise awareness.
