Now We Have “Wealth Therapists”

While the last thing most of us need is a “wealth therapist,” there are actually those who have enough money that the problems associated with it create a need for someone to talk to. As they say, more money means more problems. Today there exists exceptionally well-paid psychologists who specialize in helping extremely wealthy patients cope with having more money than they know what to do with. In fact, the going rate for these therapists is anywhere from $450 to $1,000 an hour. Known professionally as “wealth therapists,” these so-called mental health professionals offer an admittedly niche — but still in-demand — service: listening to the obscenely wealthy vent, while somehow managing to restrain themselves from getting out a tiny violin and playing it while the patient expounds on their woes. So, what exactly are these problems the rich struggle with? It turns out, they’re pretty fundamental to humans being……well……human. The most commonly reported problem is the isolation the rich feel. While a knee-jerk reaction might be to once again whip out the tiny violin, the absence of meaningful human connection can be detrimental. Being surrounded by “yes-men” who are primarily leeching off you doesn't qualify as meaningful human connection. Wealth also interferes with relationships. Imagine never being sure if the person you’re seeing is seeing you for your companionship or what your money can do for them. Outside of the human contact problems, there’s the human nature tendency to keep up with the Joneses. The uber-rich are driven to have the biggest, the best, and the latest of everything. If you still need a bit more practice on the tiny violin, the rich who didn’t work for their money also fight extreme boredom. Without the structure and a sense of purpose things like work bring, rich people find themselves battling depression, aimlessness, and end up feeling even more isolated. Human beings need a sense of purpose. In the end, nobody wants to listen to rich people bellyache, and that’s where wealth therapists come in — someone you can pay $1,000 an hour to care.